So this is what the depths of despair feels like.

Photoshop is broken. Life as I know it is over.

SLP girls are cooler than you.

I wrote a response and put it in everyone's mailbox. This is what it said...

The Shadow Moss Neighborhood Association and/or To Whom It May Concern,

In response to the lovely letter (see attached) I received in my mailbox a few days ago, I would like to offer a brief response. Unfortunately, having never been issued an invitation to the Neighborhood Association and furthermore not being supplied an address to which correspondences should be directed, I feel the only available option is to deliver my response to each resident personally. I am terribly sorry for any inconvenience this may cause and ask you to please feel free to discontinue reading at this point should my letter be in any way meaningless and/or annoying to you.

Firstly, I should like to offer my deepest apologies for any inconvenience I have caused in having cars parked on the street this past Thursday morning. Had I realized it was a school day I am sure that the vehicles would have been moved in time for buses to come through. Be assured that I am quite aware of the fact that my residence is not located in an area of student housing. I am, along with the neighborhood, also aware that the county has every right to enforce the “no more than two non-related persons per household” rule. I have, in fact, lived entirely alone for the past two (of three) years that I have owned the house (It was purchased in 2002). Recently, however, my house was vandalized and robbed, leaving me more than a little distressed at the thought of living alone. A friend has been kind enough to agree to live as my roommate in hopes that I will feel a bit more secure (*small white lie*). If I am not mistaken, there is no law prohibiting this arrangement.

Secondly, in regards to the threat of fines should my car be parked on an unprepared surface, I can only wonder whether the neighborhood plans to report every resident whose car is parked on the grass. If this is the case, I believe the county should be prepared for a very large check coming in from the Shadow Moss community. As I do not, however, believe this is the plan of the Neighborhood Association, I am only left to believe that it is the Association’s wish that I should not invite guests into my home. If this speculation is, in fact, correct I can only offer up my most sincere regrets in advance. Like any reasonable person, I am lucky enough to have a number of friends and do not believe it to be unrealistic that, on occasion, these friends should be allowed to visit. These visits, I assure you, do not occur often (as the majority of my acquaintances are living in the Atlanta area) and, if my memory serves me, Wednesday night was only the second time that I have ever had anyone stay overnight on a weekday (the first occurring about two weeks ago, also on a Wednesday).

With these things said, I would simply like to apologize once again for any inconvenience I have caused, either with this letter or with my unfortunate timing for inviting house guests. I can only hope that in the future any issues of concern should be taken up with me in a manner to which I can appropriately respond without burdening the entire neighborhood. Also, I would very much like to become a part of the Shadow Moss Neighborhood Association as it seems I have already missed out on three years of such membership. Perhaps we could meet to discuss the matter of the entrance sign.

I remain respectfully,

Ashley Blakely
Resident, 260 Whit Davis Road

Last week I got a note in my mailbox. This is what it said.

"As a new school year is upon us, just a reminder to the new residents in the neighborhood.

Two school buses travel Shadow Moss Dr. twice a day. With this, parking on the street creates a hard ship (*not a soft ship, I guess?*) for the traffic flow and disrespects the residents that live here. It also poses a danger for the children in the neighborhood. This is a neighborhood and not student housing. Children ride their bikes, walk, and rollerblade. Cars parked in the street obstruct the view of the children that might be playing in between the parked cars.

Also, the county can fine $1000 dollars for cars not parked on a prepared surface. If residents complain, the parking will be monitored and drivers can be fined. The neighborhood is also aware the county will enforce the 'no more than 2 non related persons per household rule'.

Thank you,

Shadow Moss Neighborhood Association"

Any suggestions as to the course of action I should take in response to such a note? I have a few thoughts...

*feelsclaustrophobic*

I went to NYC this weekend with my mum and sister. I guess it's nice and all but it is completely beyond me why anyone would want to live there. The volume of people versus the amount of space for them to occupy is just ridiculous. IT'S TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE. Even when we walked into the hotel there were people sitting and standing all over the place in the lobby. Craziness. Otherwise, though, we had a good time. We went to see a few Broadway plays (Phantom of the Opera, Rent, and The Producers). I don't really get why Rent is such a big deal. The singing was good and that one song was good but....Story?Dialouge? Notsomuch. But who am I to judge. If everyone else loves it then so be it. I will not deny them their enjoyment. In other excitement, we saw a dead homeless guy in Central Park. So that was fun. OOH! And I finished Harry Potter on the plane! Not that I was happy about the ending. (Don't worry. I'm not saying what it was and if anybody else does I will hurt them...Dave). All I have to say is that the next book better be at least 1000 pages full of happiness. Love and happiness. Love, happiness, and glee. All of these things. That's all I have to say about it.